Remembering Mummy
Dayavanti Khemchand
Her maternal grandfather Rai Saheb Naunehal Singh sent a proposal for marriage through a letter of 4 th March 1937, with address of Chamber of Princes New Delhi to Shri Khemchand, who was then posted as Nazim in Rajgarh in District Alwar, having succeeded in the competitive examination for the Services of Alwar State, which was then a prominent Princely State. The marriage between Dayavanti and Khemchand took place on 15th April i.e. soon after the proposal was received . Indeed quick decision making on both sides . They were our parents .
It is without doubt that what our grand Nanaji said was fully true of her . She was educated , accomplished and good looking. However , we children realised , as we grew up that in fact she was a very talented person, but more than that, an extremely affectionate , adjusting, duty bound and caring one l, extraordinary in many ways and for us an epitome of goodness .
Coming from a family background of Radhaswamis of Dayal Bagh, Agra, one of the first things she had to adjust to, after marriage was to a family that was Sanatani and where eating both vegetarian and non vegetarian food and having a drink in the evening was a way of life. We can now imagine how tough it must have been, but we never heard her complain . My memories only go back to her cooking Kaliya ( mutton ) as it was called in our house, Kababs and Pulou with commendable ease and finesse . It must have tasted very good because everyone enjoyed the dishes. And she made them without eating them because she herself remained a vegetarian. Somehow I also became a vegetarian, the only one amongst the children.
Mummy moved to different places as my father’s postings took place. The stint in Alwar, the family home, was for more than a decade, as Daddy's postings, took him to Rajgarh, Bansoor , Mundavar, Tijara. What she felt like when he became the Collector of Alwar, on a fast track promotion in 1947 , we will never know , but it must have been undoubtedly a proud moment. Five of us were born in Alwar ie Titi ( PC Mathur 1940 ) Chanda (Kailash Mathur 1942 ) , Dolly (Manmohini 1944 ) Subhash ( 1947 ) and Puche( Subodh 1950 ) . Shammi ( Ashok 1949 ) was born in Bharatpur in January 1948 , when Daddy was transferred there as Collector . I was born in Jhalawar in June 1952 and Bhaiiya (Satish ) in Ajmer in June 1958 . She was the wife of the Collector and District Magistrate of the District of Alwar (twice ) , Bharatpur , Udaipur , Jhalwar , Bikaner and Ajmer . Living in Bungalows and served by staff and enjoying a premium position in society , with my father by now having been inducted into the IAS through Integration Scheme with 1944 seniority ,however, seemed to have no effect of arrogance on her personality and she remained her humble and simple self, going about her household and social life life with commitment and dedication. Though of course we know that she learnt shooting ( my father was an excellent shot and was trained in service also ) and there is a photograph of hers with a gun on a shooting binge.
Now that we have our own households, we realise how skilled and talented Mummy was .Cooking and managing the household apart, she was very good at stitching, even making shirts for Daddy, embroidery , and knitting. Her sweaters with cable designs are something I always remember and miss. She surprised everyone by making Knicker Bockers for the young Satish while we were living in Jwala Bhavan Jaipur . I can never forget those smart red and white checked clothes. I also used to see her put Doras in the Razais or Lehaf as we used to call them . It was indeed a marvel.
We used to celebrate some festivals with great enthusiasm : Holi , Diwali , Janamastami , Ramnomi, Sankrant amongst others . For Diwali we always had Paapri and Gujaas and the Pooja place had Aipan decorations. So for Holi with Dahi Badas added. Sankrant was Til ke Ladoos and Ramnomi special was Aloo Poori ,Raita and Halua . All these traditions were set by Mummy , which we all enjoyed and gradually imbibed and now endeavoring to take them further.
As a family belonging to the Kayastha community, our first priority was education. Mummy left no stone unturned to see that we all could go to schools , colleges and Universities without having to worry about anything . Studies were not to be neglected at any cost. This bore rich dividends as all of us children managed to do well and get into prestigious assignments and positions and have spouses and families of our own. She welcomed the daughter in laws like her own , and who too cared for her with great love and affection and today also miss her very much.
She was not very surprised when I topped in the ISC Exam in MGD in 1968 because I had been coming first in school classes .But my getting selected into the IAS in the year 1975 and getting a high rank, did make her very happy. I recall that when I used to go for one exam, then come back for a break and prepare to go again , ( our exam centre was where we have the Directorate of Agriculture near the Secretariat on Bhagwan Das Road ) she would not only give lunch but make me eat one grape after another for energy, while I revised my notes , somewhat nervous . However, immediately after my selection , the concern about my marriage started worrying her and it was not till I told her about Rakesh that she felt at ease. She loved the simple civil marriage that we had , perhaps reminding her of her own civil marriage long back.
Mummy faced difficult and troubled times too. Yet she overcame them with grit and determination , in her own gentle and caring way . She was always there for us and everyone. All family and friends visiting our home always had a special attachment for her and were never untouched by her warmth and hospitality .
When she was going to the hospital , after her severe burns that occurred accidentally during her prayers , I was in the car with her . Enroute I pointed out to her the Police Memorial , also called Teen Moorti , that my mother in law Smt Usha Rani Hooja had made. Her response , even at that stage was something that is unforgettable. Maine bhi Aath Moortiyaan bannai hain , the reference obviously being to her own eight children! What a statement, I thought and was completely bowled over and felt so proud!
And will feel forever .
Meenakshi Hooja
11 Uniara Bagh
Jaipur 302004
meenakshihooja1@gmail.com
24 th April 2020 Friday
Dayavanti Khemchand
Her maternal grandfather Rai Saheb Naunehal Singh sent a proposal for marriage through a letter of 4 th March 1937, with address of Chamber of Princes New Delhi to Shri Khemchand, who was then posted as Nazim in Rajgarh in District Alwar, having succeeded in the competitive examination for the Services of Alwar State, which was then a prominent Princely State. The marriage between Dayavanti and Khemchand took place on 15th April i.e. soon after the proposal was received . Indeed quick decision making on both sides . They were our parents .
It is without doubt that what our grand Nanaji said was fully true of her . She was educated , accomplished and good looking. However , we children realised , as we grew up that in fact she was a very talented person, but more than that, an extremely affectionate , adjusting, duty bound and caring one l, extraordinary in many ways and for us an epitome of goodness .
Coming from a family background of Radhaswamis of Dayal Bagh, Agra, one of the first things she had to adjust to, after marriage was to a family that was Sanatani and where eating both vegetarian and non vegetarian food and having a drink in the evening was a way of life. We can now imagine how tough it must have been, but we never heard her complain . My memories only go back to her cooking Kaliya ( mutton ) as it was called in our house, Kababs and Pulou with commendable ease and finesse . It must have tasted very good because everyone enjoyed the dishes. And she made them without eating them because she herself remained a vegetarian. Somehow I also became a vegetarian, the only one amongst the children.
Mummy
Mummy moved to different places as my father’s postings took place. The stint in Alwar, the family home, was for more than a decade, as Daddy's postings, took him to Rajgarh, Bansoor , Mundavar, Tijara. What she felt like when he became the Collector of Alwar, on a fast track promotion in 1947 , we will never know , but it must have been undoubtedly a proud moment. Five of us were born in Alwar ie Titi ( PC Mathur 1940 ) Chanda (Kailash Mathur 1942 ) , Dolly (Manmohini 1944 ) Subhash ( 1947 ) and Puche( Subodh 1950 ) . Shammi ( Ashok 1949 ) was born in Bharatpur in January 1948 , when Daddy was transferred there as Collector . I was born in Jhalawar in June 1952 and Bhaiiya (Satish ) in Ajmer in June 1958 . She was the wife of the Collector and District Magistrate of the District of Alwar (twice ) , Bharatpur , Udaipur , Jhalwar , Bikaner and Ajmer . Living in Bungalows and served by staff and enjoying a premium position in society , with my father by now having been inducted into the IAS through Integration Scheme with 1944 seniority ,however, seemed to have no effect of arrogance on her personality and she remained her humble and simple self, going about her household and social life life with commitment and dedication. Though of course we know that she learnt shooting ( my father was an excellent shot and was trained in service also ) and there is a photograph of hers with a gun on a shooting binge.
Now that we have our own households, we realise how skilled and talented Mummy was .Cooking and managing the household apart, she was very good at stitching, even making shirts for Daddy, embroidery , and knitting. Her sweaters with cable designs are something I always remember and miss. She surprised everyone by making Knicker Bockers for the young Satish while we were living in Jwala Bhavan Jaipur . I can never forget those smart red and white checked clothes. I also used to see her put Doras in the Razais or Lehaf as we used to call them . It was indeed a marvel.
We used to celebrate some festivals with great enthusiasm : Holi , Diwali , Janamastami , Ramnomi, Sankrant amongst others . For Diwali we always had Paapri and Gujaas and the Pooja place had Aipan decorations. So for Holi with Dahi Badas added. Sankrant was Til ke Ladoos and Ramnomi special was Aloo Poori ,Raita and Halua . All these traditions were set by Mummy , which we all enjoyed and gradually imbibed and now endeavoring to take them further.
As a family belonging to the Kayastha community, our first priority was education. Mummy left no stone unturned to see that we all could go to schools , colleges and Universities without having to worry about anything . Studies were not to be neglected at any cost. This bore rich dividends as all of us children managed to do well and get into prestigious assignments and positions and have spouses and families of our own. She welcomed the daughter in laws like her own , and who too cared for her with great love and affection and today also miss her very much.
She was not very surprised when I topped in the ISC Exam in MGD in 1968 because I had been coming first in school classes .But my getting selected into the IAS in the year 1975 and getting a high rank, did make her very happy. I recall that when I used to go for one exam, then come back for a break and prepare to go again , ( our exam centre was where we have the Directorate of Agriculture near the Secretariat on Bhagwan Das Road ) she would not only give lunch but make me eat one grape after another for energy, while I revised my notes , somewhat nervous . However, immediately after my selection , the concern about my marriage started worrying her and it was not till I told her about Rakesh that she felt at ease. She loved the simple civil marriage that we had , perhaps reminding her of her own civil marriage long back.
Collectors wife
Cheers
Meenu Wedding
Viren-Dolly Wedding
With Sunita (grand daughter)
Garden
Dayawanti and Khemchand at Birthday Celebrations of Rakesh and Rajat
Mummy faced difficult and troubled times too. Yet she overcame them with grit and determination , in her own gentle and caring way . She was always there for us and everyone. All family and friends visiting our home always had a special attachment for her and were never untouched by her warmth and hospitality .
When she was going to the hospital , after her severe burns that occurred accidentally during her prayers , I was in the car with her . Enroute I pointed out to her the Police Memorial , also called Teen Moorti , that my mother in law Smt Usha Rani Hooja had made. Her response , even at that stage was something that is unforgettable. Maine bhi Aath Moortiyaan bannai hain , the reference obviously being to her own eight children! What a statement, I thought and was completely bowled over and felt so proud!
And will feel forever .
Meenakshi Hooja
11 Uniara Bagh
Jaipur 302004
meenakshihooja1@gmail.com
24 th April 2020 Friday
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